"Oh how I love to help you, my dear son and daughter. Let me remove those knots for you forever. I love you."

This morning as our new little guy was sleeping (well, not so new, 7 months now!), our 4 year old was trying to untangle a set of earbuds and becoming a bit frustrated.  Feeling a full heart this morning for many reasons, I decided to offer my help as I could see my patience was a little higher than his (which isn't always the case). Plus the baby was sleeping. 

That is not a picture of the same earbuds that we untangled, but some random group of tangled cords that seem to lie in abundance about our house.  But thank God we have a lot of pictures of Jesus at our house too.  Plus I thought you might get a kick out of the industrial strength ultra duster that my husband seems to think is the way to dust our house, which is covered in dust. But I digress.

He gave me the earbuds, and I proceeded to untangle the cords with great patience.  With this great gift of patience in my heart, I began a *teaching moment*.... this one was successful though!  I told him that it only takes a little bit of patience and perseverance to untangle and remove the knots.  He agreed. We worked together diligently and within no time at all, it was untangled! This happened with no interruptions, a miracle in itself.  It was so easy, but I reminded him that sometimes tangles are not so easy, and if we let God do the work for us and with us, He always works out the knots for us.

Right after we had that one untangled, he put it on top of another group of cords and it became all mixed up again! He and I laughed about that, and he tried to get them out himself but it was not working. That's when I said, "Here, let your mom help you out."

and bam! there she was, Mary, right there with us, saying, "Oh how I love to help you, my dear son and daughter.  Let me remove those knots for you forever. I love you."

So thankful for praying a Novena to Mary, Undoer of Knots, recently, so she could open up my heart in this beautiful, tangible way.

And since I haven't announced yet here at this blog that we had a new baby, here is a picture of him! He was born just after midnight on January 21, 2015 on the Feast of Saint Agnes, with Saint Sebastian's help the day before during labor. We all love him so, our dear little David:

"Rest is a communion of love between them."

"Think of a child asleep in his mother's arms: the abandon with which he gives himself to sleep can only be because he has complete trust in the arms that hold him.  He is not lying asleep on that heart because he is worn out with anxiety.  He is asleep there because it is a delight to him to be asleep there.  The mother rests, too.  She rests in his rest.  Her mind and body rest in him.   His head fits into the crook of her curved arm.  Their warmth is mingled like the warmth of two softly burning flames.  She rocks to and fro, and her rocking is unconsciously timed by his breathing.  Rest is a communion of love between them.  It is a culmination of content: on the child's part, utter trust in his mother; on the mother's part, sheer joy in the power of her love to sustain his life."

Caryll Houselander

The Church Loves us as a Mother

"Think of what a good mother does.  A good mother sets high standards for her children, standards of behavior, standards of cleanliness, standards of respect, standards of work.  And she expects her children to meet them, and that's love.  And that's the way the Church loves you, as a mother, setting those expectations, setting those standards.

"Where is mercy? Mercy is not to lower a standard. Mercy is to love you and help you when you have earnestly tried, and failed, to live the standard. The Church always could be and always should be more merciful in that way, to reach out, to seek out, like a shepherd, those who struggle to live that standard, and to love them in their struggle."

Homily from Fr. Andrew, Good Shepherd Sunday

Listen to all here. 

Fruit of praying St. Thomas' Prayer for Ordering a Life Wisely

So, I had this wonderful grace today. As I looked around seeing all that needs to be done, which usually overwhelms me, I realized something. Paradoxically, I think it's the fruit of praying St. Thomas Aquinas' prayer for ordering a life wisely. It's a paradox because my life feels very far from ordered right now. But God revealed to me that He loves me and is pouring out His grace on all of us right in the middle, and really through our messy life (in a physical and spiritual sense). When I looked around, suddenly all of this:

-legos built and unbuilt (not fun to step on)
-A pile of toy nerf guns confiscated yesterday on which I stubbed my toe really bad in the dark this morning (ouch!)
-dust (lots and lots of it)
-a hot wheels race car set at the bottom of the stairs (why there?)
-train set somewhere, or so I've heard
-dirty kleenex (I know! gross, it's not me)
-food on the floor (we don't have a dog, working on Chris in this matter)
-dirty (and also clean, unfolded) laundry taking over (literally overflowing)
-piles of papers with printed out prayers/articles I like
-prayer books
-piles of kids' school projects, homework, forms that need to be filled out
-childrens' books on the nightstands, on the floors, on the beds, on the counters, on the stairs (not fun to slip on), on the kitchen counters
-my books in all the same places as the childrens' books
-unsent Christmas cards that I didn't have an address for (I give up on this one)
-unsent school pictures (working on that one too!)
-dirty dishes
-coats, blankets, socks, shoes, mittens, etc...
-Christmas tree still up
-Nativity sets still out
-Superhero birthday decorations still hanging up
-Pink flower birthday decorations still hanging up
-wonderful school books laying around haphazardly in the living room that when used teach God's beauty in all parts of our life and studies
-a violin with music scattered around
-a very dusty piano that needs tuning
-unmade beds
-and much much more believe it or not

made me realize something beautiful. My messy life, and that of my family, is the evidence that there are 7 beautiful souls living in this house, learning to love God and each other, and that despite the fact that it feels and looks so "disordered", it is in fact ordered. Ordered to the love of God, the love He has for each one of us, and the love we have for Him.

Thank You Jesus! Amen.

But what do you do when you are drowning?

This morning I was up earlier than normal and read a blog post about a facebook / pinterest meme that I had not seen yet.  Jennifer Fulwiler wrote an excellent blog post about how this meme proves that we are living in a culture of death.  She also referred to Mindy Goorchenko's also excellent post pointing out "flaws in the analogy."  I highly recommend reading both of these posts.

Maybe I should have stayed in bed, or maybe I should not have gone online and prayed instead because that facebook meme is really bothering me.  Jennifer and Mindy make very good points of which I am in wholehearted agreement.  But that meme really hits home, and I believe that is why it is so insidious.  Comparing the "birth of a baby to a horrible form of death" is so insidious because it is a twisting of a beautiful truth.  Getting married and having children is a death, but not a horrible form of death that brings destruction.  Getting married and having children is a death to self that brings about life.  And if you do not know about death that brings life, that brings redemption, you will drown.   

"It stuns the conscience," as Jennifer says.  It stuns my conscience because it just so happens that right now in my life, I feel like I am drowning.  Sometimes drowning just in dishes and laundry and little people needing me at every minute of the day, but also in a deeper way drowning in emotions, and hurts and trying to find healing.  Sometimes I go through times where I feel dry and parched, especially in prayer, and this can bring desolation.  Other times desolation comes because I feel overwhelmed, like I am drowning.  It is in these dark moments where I think how could we possibly handle another child or how could I possibly stay here and be  a wife to my husband and a mother to my children.  And my fight or flight instinct kicks in and I either run away for a period of time or fight my way to the surface just trying to get a breath.  Neither really works.  Only surrender does. 

The answer is not to stay out of the water.  The answer is not to put on a temporary life jacket.  The answer is not to take swimming lessons.  The real answer is to let go and surrender and let the grief, sadness, hurt, and yes, death, come.  Because there is new life that is better than anything we can imagine.  Do not be afraid, Christ will rescue you.  He will bring you to the surface.

UPDATE:  Elizabeth Foss has a fantastic post Overwhelmed by the Everyday that really helps!  Surrender to God, listen to Him, and say yes to Him!

 

This is Beauty, You O Lord, have ravished my heart

+JMJ+

Tonight as I was praying in the Chapel with Jesus in the tabernacle, beauty is what was on my heart, only it felt heavy, thinking of how beauty is distorted and ignored and discarded and degraded in our world right now.  I had just read Marc Barnes' post, Dappled Things My Dear Readers.  True Beauty elevates our hearts and minds to God and His Glory.

In my facebook newsfeed this afternoon, one right after another was first a picture posted by Endow on the Dignity of Women and Feminine Genius and then another picture from a feminist group whose name I do not even want to type here, shared by a friend.  The contrast was so startling that it jarred me into realizing how the beauty of feminine dignity is so much under attack, even by those who profess to be all about giving voice to women.  It makes me so sad for my sisters that do not know their true dignity as beloved daughters of God.  Another quote that that was on my newsfeed was from Dignitas Magazine:

"True beauty emanates from a woman who boldly and unabashedly knows who she is in Christ."~Jen Smidt

True beauty is shown in these women making their Final Profession of Vows with the Carmelite Sisters of the Most Sacred Heart of Los Angeles.  They sing, "The joy I feel in my soul comes from knowing You."  That is Beauty.

But, I am human, and my heart became heavy once again thinking of how, I, myself, do not feel beautiful.  Right there in quiet, peace, and tranquility, I forgot myself the dignity I have as a daughter of God.  So I began focusing on myself, rather than Christ and the beauty emanating from women who boldly and unabashedly know who they are in Christ. 

I feel spiritually beat up, bruised, tired, worn out, and just plain not beautiful.  It has been a difficult week, and I am probably too hard on myself, but really, being a wife and mother is hard work, and just plain messy.  This is especially true with young children that all have minds of their own along with a mom who is trying to figure it all out herself and often forgets who she is in Christ.  My heart has a long way to go to find healing and I just found myself thinking how can I ever be beautiful, how can spiritually beat up, bruised, tired, worn out ever be beautiful?  I feel more like a worn out wife, and definitely not a bride.  How could that be beautiful?

And then something miraculous happened.  I looked up from the tabernacle to the Crucifix, and then I realized that beat up, bruised, tired, and worn out is Beautiful, but only on the Cross.  I often contemplate the Cross when I come to pray, but I think that there must be some new lighting on the Cross in our Chapel.  It seemed brighter, and even the shadow cast by Christ hanging on the Cross, pouring out His life for me was beautiful.  Beautiful beyond words.  And He poured Himself out like that, took on the ugliness and harshness of the Cross, out of Love for me, to reconcile me to Our Father.  That is true Beauty.

From a poem I wrote a few years ago:

We weep here at His Cross, we cry out in anguish.
He has overcome all by His Love and Mercy.
This is Beauty, You O Lord, have ravished my heart
by Your Love and Mercy. Your Cross has set me free.

Amen.

Seriously? :)

To lighten the mood around here a bit, Michael's dear sisters decided to introduce him to a few of their barbies:

Hmmmm....

Seriously?

 er, what is this sparkly thing with feet?

My thoughts exactly :)  Yuck.   He's definitely not amused.

 

But he still has a great smile for his mama! :-D

A Friend in Christ is a Treasure

Good friends are hard to find, but they are out there!  There have been many people in our lives who have come and gone, and as I am growing in faith, it is becoming less painful to say good bye because I trust that God has a plan for each person He places in our lives.  Once every relationship is viewed in the light of Christ and His Love, the ups and downs are easier to handle because Christ is always the same and He never leaves.  And we can recognize that it is Christ loving us through those people with whom we are friends and Christ loving them through us.  With Christ in a friendship, it is possible to truly love another person for that person's sake, not for one's own selfish reasons.  And with Christ in a friendship, it becomes possible to truly forgive and to be forgiven.  Today, I am speaking about relationships where Christ is the foundation for both sides, but in reality, this can apply to all people with whom we meet and interact.  We can love them for who they are, love Jesus in them, and hope for Jesus to come into their hearts when it seems like they do not know Him.  In all of this, it is Jesus Loving us, and them, with an eternal Love.

One such family that has come into our lives will be moving away next week.  We knew they were only here temporarily, so it has been easier to prepare in this sense, knowing always that they would be moving.  But it did not stop us from nurturing a close friendship in Christ.  Christ has provided us with the freedom to enter into a friendship that we know will change over time, and to dispel the fear that we would get too close and then have to say good bye.  It is sad to say good bye, but yet, I also have a great amount of hope and am looking forward to see what Jesus has planned for them and for us over the years.  I will truly miss spending time with them, and so will my husband and our children.  The best part was how well our entire family got along, moms, dads, and the children!

Really, God has provided such grace in all of this.  We both homeschool; we both had 4 children when we met, and had babies 1 month apart last year.  I came home from the hospital on Mother's' Day, and their daughter was born on Father's Day!  Our families are both lego fanatics (well maybe not us moms, even though we think legos are cool); the dads are both Eagle Scouts and went camping with the boys' cub scout troops, we love playing games (except a couple of us need to work on the other two about their lack of desire to play cards ;)  ); we went to Mass together for the first time in our newly restored Cathedral here in our diocese; both moms blog; and both families have a heart for Jesus!

Our oldest son Joseph will be going to his first confession this weekend.  Joseph has found a true lego soul mate in their oldest son, Kolbe.  They have spent hours building legos together.  Kolbe made the card shown above for Joseph (all out of his own desire in religious ed, with no prompting from his parents).  My heart is full of gratitude for each person in their family.   

Thank You God!  We pray for their safety and blessing as they finish packing and as they travel back home.  Give them courage, hope, perseverance, a strong faith, and love as they live out their beautiful vocations in You.

Except that today I'm a mess...

Yesterday's post was written with peace in my heart.  Today, life is back to insanity.  The good thing is that God doesn't change with all this.  I'm up, I'm down, I'm calm, I'm crazy.  I'm an absolute mess.  He is the same.  Always.  In this present, seemingly insane moment, You Love me Lord, and I love You in return, despite all of my weaknesses.  And so His peace remains.

Let Your Mercy be on us Oh Lord, as we place our trust in You.

Veiling and the Virtues of Humility and Confidence

Judy has a great post over at Community of Catholic Bloggers about Donning the Mantilla.  She really has some great things to say about this subject, and it really hit home for me.  As my love for Jesus in the Eucharist has grown, God has given me a desire to veil, but I do not believe there is anyone in our parish that veils.  And so, because of a lack of courage and because of my own pride, I do not veil.  And I am not sure at this point if my daughters would begin to veil without putting up a fuss since they are not used to it. 

It is a lack of courage because I am afraid of being the only one veiling.  And it falls into pride for me because I do not want my friends, family and other parishioners to think I am being prideful by wearing a veil.  And would it be prideful for me to wear a veil?  Or is is prideful to not wear a veil?  Judy really touches on this very question in her post.  It seems like it is a great act of humility and love, and that is how I would want to begin, solely as an act of humility and love for Christ and His Adorable Heart.  Would it remain as an act of humble love?  Is it prudent to veil at this time? 

I have many more questions than answers about this.  My heart is bogged down a bit with this.  And my husband is not necessarily in favor of me veiling either, but if I say I am being obedient to him, it really is just an excuse, because I know he can be persuaded on this subject.  And really, if God has given me this desire, why am I so afraid?

What do you think about veiling?

Go read Judy's post, it is excellent!

A.M.D.G.

Here is a good response to the video Why I love Jesus, but hate religion.  I actually haven't watched that video, but this one is good!  And considering my daughter, who is 10, just encountered some anticatholicism yesterday, it is timely for us. 

What happened  in a nutshell:  One of her friends told her, "A lot of people think Catholicism is messed up."  and "Why do Catholics add books to the Bible?"  and "I believe you only need to confess your sins directly to God."  All in the middle of an art class!  I'm proud of my daughter's response to this and that she held her ground and also told me about it even though she knew it probably meant she was not going to get to go on a playdate with her yesterday afternoon.  Although she did not have enough knowledge to talk about the ins and outs of the history of the Septuagint and the Canon of Scripture in the Catholic Church with her friend, she did have a great response about confession.  She told her friend that when she goes to confession she actually" is confessing directly to God, and that the priest acts in the person of Christ."  Pretty good for a 10 year old defending her faith to another 10 year old.   

I was torn about whether to let her go play with her friend anyway yesterday afternoon, but decided to have one-on-one time with her instead, so we went to our local coffee shop and had a wonderful talk! She is still friends with her, and I had a wonderful discussion with her friend's mother which made me realize how many misunderstandings and inaccuracies there are out there about our Catholic faith.  There are definite differences, but how will people know what we REALLY believe and where it came from if we are not willing to share it?  I am glad that her friend asked her questions and for my daughter's courage.... this is where her strong will is beneficial.  May we as parents help guide her to follow Christ and His Truth and to help her to grow in courage to proclaim the Good News of Jesus Christ with love and generosity.

Her mom apologized and was very gracious.  It was something that could have ended badly but ended up being a wonderful place to begin a dialogue.

Here's the video I was talking about before:



HT GNW_Paul on Plurk for the video

Mother of Hope

Our Lady of Guadalupe, Mother of Hope, pray for us!

Pope Benedict XVI on Mary, Star of Hope:

From the Cross you received a new mission. From the Cross you became a mother in a new way: the mother of all those who believe in your Son Jesus and wish to follow him. The sword of sorrow pierced your heart. Did hope die? Did the world remain definitively without light, and life without purpose? At that moment, deep down, you probably listened again to the word spoken by the angel in answer to your fear at the time of the Annunciation: “Do not be afraid, Mary!” (Lk 1:30). How many times had the Lord, your Son, said the same thing to his disciples: do not be afraid! In your heart, you heard this word again during the night of Golgotha. Before the hour of his betrayal he had said to his disciples: “Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (Jn 16:33). “Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid” (Jn 14:27). “Do not be afraid, Mary!” In that hour at Nazareth the angel had also said to you: “Of his kingdom there will be no end” (Lk 1:33). Could it have ended before it began? No, at the foot of the Cross, on the strength of Jesus's own word, you became the mother of believers. In this faith, which even in the darkness of Holy Saturday bore the certitude of hope, you made your way towards Easter morning. The joy of the Resurrection touched your heart and united you in a new way to the disciples, destined to become the family of Jesus through faith. In this way you were in the midst of the community of believers, who in the days following the Ascension prayed with one voice for the gift of the Holy Spirit (cf. Acts 1:14) and then received that gift on the day of Pentecost. The “Kingdom” of Jesus was not as might have been imagined. It began in that hour, and of this “Kingdom” there will be no end. Thus you remain in the midst of the disciples as their Mother, as the Mother of hope. Holy Mary, Mother of God, our Mother, teach us to believe, to hope, to love with you. Show us the way to his Kingdom! Star of the Sea, shine upon us and guide us on our way!  ~Pope Benedict XVI, Spe Salvi

A Story of Hope

This morning I read a great post over at Creative Minority Report about one couple's struggle with conceiving and their decision to go to Gianna Catholic Healthcare Center for Women. The writer Mary talks about how when you prepare for marriage the priest asks you if you are open to having children, but what about the burden of not being able to get pregnant? She does not talk about miscarriage, but the loss of a child by miscarriage and multiple miscarriages is devastating as well. Here is an excerpt, you will want to read the whole post over at CMR:

But they never ask if you are you prepared for when the children don't come. It can be a frustrating and devastating process full of anxiety, doubt, and heartbreak. It is also not something you fail at once like your 7th grade Social Studies test, it's something that 12 times a year you know you failed. After a year or maybe two, you start to really wonder if something is wrong with you. You see your friends having babies and they tell you you’re next. Or you see a show on television where the character is having a baby and you have to switch channels. Or because you look at the second bedroom in your place that you named the nursery when you moved in and now call the office.

I went through five years of this. So many tears and advice. Of course, IVF was not an option. Where do you turn? On my birthday last year, I got the monthly reminder that we failed. Again. As I laid on my bed crying, my husband decided to make a call. He called Gianna, The Catholic Healthcare Center for Women. My brother Matthew had told us about them.....

Read the rest here.

St. Gianna, pray for us!

A Pearl of Great Price - Pay it Forward Tuesday

Pay it Forward is hosted by Holly at A Life-Size Catholic Blog. Thanks Holly!

One of my favorite priest bloggers (or rather, a priest who happens to blog), Fr. Andrew, has a great post from his homily this past Sunday at his website Catholic-Vision in which he challenges us to live the wisdom of Scripture:

The wisdom of Scripture says to sell everything for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Like a great pearl there is no price too great. Like treasure in the field we must sell all to acquire that field. The wisdom of the world says to hold something back for yourselves and don’t trust the Kingdom of Heaven to provide for you—which is the wisdom of our enemy, the master of this world, Satan.

He reminds us of the 43rd Anniversary of Humanae Vitae and the consequences of choices our culture has made regarding the use of artificial contraception. His post is not about what is right and what is wrong, but about our trust in God. Fr. Andrew speaks to us with love and with challenge, as a good father does. Thanks Fr. Andrew! Read his post here.

A Mother's Heart

My heart is full after reading Raising a Vocation by Anne over at Imprisoned in My Bones and her oldest son's discerning a call to the priesthood. He has a blog about his experiences at St. Francis de Sales Seminary Camp, a high school camp for high school boys discerning the priesthood. I am so amazed at how beautifully God works in people's lives!

What an amazing privilege, honor and blessing to have a son called by God to become a priest or to have a daughter called by God to become a nun. It would be wonderful for any or all of our children to have such a beautiful vocation as this! This is my prayer, but I often find myself doubting my ability as a mother to help guide their hearts. This is why I was so happy to see Anne's post, which encouraged me that God has placed this desire on my heart for a reason. Whatever His plans are for our children, we must encourage them in their walk and help them learn to listen to God.

One of the things we tell our children is how important it is to listen to God in their hearts, to listen to Christ's call and to go where He wants them to go, wherever that may be. Listening with the ear of their hearts may be in simple every day ways now, but will hopefully guide their hearts to Him more and more as they grow in age and wisdom. Living our lives in an authentically Catholic way is the best way to form them in this way. When I begin to neglect living an authentically Catholic life, I begin to fall away and it is harder to be the mother God has called me to be.

I am so thankful for Our Holy Church, Blessed Mother and St. Joseph to guide us as parents, so that we will grow in His Love and continue to nurture the faith growing in our children. God speaks to us in many ways, through receiving Him in the Holy Eucharist, at Holy Mass or during Adoration, at Confession, during prayer, through everyday experiences, and through people. May we always know and receive the graces He desires to give us, and turn back to Him when we fail to receive Him and His Love.

Lord, let me see You, hear You, receive You, and love You everywhere and always! If it be Your Will, let any or all of our sons hear and respond with an enthusiastic yes to Your call to be a priest. If it be Your Will, let any or all of our daughters hear and respond with an enthusiastic yes to Your call to be a nun. If it be Your Will that they live a married vocation, let them respond with an enthusiastic yes and bless their future spouse. Teach them all to listen to You and Your specific call for them. Help us as parents to guide them to do Your will and let them live their lives here on earth so that they will be with You forever in Heaven. In Your Holy Name, Amen.

St. Gertrude the Great - Herald of Divine Love

+JMJ+

*Cross posted at Community of Catholic Bloggers*

A few weeks ago, I could not sleep, even though Michael was sleeping peacefully next to me. My mind and my heart were restless, so I got out of bed to pray and poured out my heart to God. Michael then began to cry so I went to him to care for him. It was then that God gave me peace and this became my prayer:

Lord, thank You for the amazing privilege of being a mother to this baby so beautiful.

As he rests in me, let me rest in You. I rest in You.

Right now, being his mother is the only thing I feel I can do with confidence. No words are necessary, only touch and love and nourishment.

As I grow in confidence in this ability alone, teach me to trust in You the way he trusts in me so that I will know Your Love and care for me and so will he.

As You teach me Lord, heal my heart, my body, and my soul.

Let me grow in confidence so that when words are necessary, I will use your words and actions and not my own.

In this way, You are teaching me to be Your daughter, to be a wife, to be a mother, to be a sister, to be a friend.

Mary and Joseph, I ask for your parental intercession in all this.

In Your Holy Name, Jesus, I pray. Amen.

The very next morning, a dear friend gave me the book St Gertrude - Herald of Divine Love (TAN Books). Wow! Here are some passages from the book that particularly spoke to me (italics mine):

"St. Gertrude was the herald of devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus." Thank You Lord for bringing St. Gertrude to me during June, the month of devotion to Your Sacred Heart and at this time and state in my life. Thank you St. Gertrude for coming to me.

"Gertrude's heart sought God alone, and found Him everywhere." O, Lord Jesus, You are everywhere and always with us. Thank You for Your Mercy and Love!

On St. Gertrude's unlimited confidence: "The Holy Fathers have always taught that the measure of our hope and confidence is the measure of the graces which we receive from heaven. They have realized that, through our unreserved confidence, God is most honored and glorified. Nothing will be denied to an unlimited confidence.... St. Gertrude understood that confidence is the key which opens the treasures of the infinite Mercy of God." Thank You Lord for answering my prayer and teaching me to trust in You and to grow in confidence in the Mercy and Love of Your Sacred Heart.

"Once when St. Gertrude was troubled with temptations, she implored the Divine assistance. Our Lord, in His exceeding Mercy, spoke thus to her: 'Anyone suffering from human temptations, who flees to My protection with firm confidence, belongs to those of whom I can say: 'One is My dove, My chosen one out of thousands, who has pierced My Heart with one glance of her eyes.' And this confidence wounds My Heart so deeply that were I unable to relieve such a soul, it would cause My Heart a sadness which all the joys of heaven could not assuage... The confidence that I truly have the power, the wisdom and the goodness to aid a soul faithfully in all her miseries, is the arrow which pierces My Heart, and does such violence to My Love that I can never abandon her.' " O Lord Jesus! I love you and I thank You with all my heart for Your faithfulness, Your sacrifice, Your Mercy and Your Love! I trust in Your Sacred Heart and thank You for giving me the desire for confidence. Let my confidence grow in You and Your Sacred Heart. Lord, let my trust that You will not abandon me grow. St. Gertrude, pray for us. Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us. Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.

Once when reflecting on her unworthiness: "Instantly she placed all her hope in God's goodness by saying: 'What will it avail me to hesitate? Even if a thousand years were given me, I could nevertheless not prepare myself fittingly. I will therefore go to meet Him with confidence and humility, and when my Lord sees me from afar, He will send in advance a garment wherein I may be fittingly clad to be presented to Him." O Lord, let me always approach Your Love in the Holy Eucharist with confidence and humility. And if I commit mortal sin, may I immediately seek Your forgiveness in Confession that I may not miss Your tender Love in this Holy Sacrament. Let Your Mercy be on us O Lord, as we place our trust in You. In Your Holy Name I pray, Amen.

~~~

The Tenth prayer of St. Gertrude's Devout Affectations on the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ:

O Jesus, true and fruitful Vine, remember now the lavish, the excessive profusion wherewith Thou didst shed Thy Precious Blood, when on the Cross Thou didst tread the winepress alone, and wast crushed as a cluster of ripe grapes; when Thou didst give us water and Blood from Thy pierced Side, so that not one drop remained in Thy Heart. Then wast Thou hung up as a bundle of myrrh, and Thy tender Flesh grew pale, and Thy moisture was all dried up within Thee, and the marrow of Thy bones consumed. By this Thy most bitter Passion, and by the shedding of Thy Most Precious Blood, I beseech Thee, O most Loving Jesus, wash my soul at the hour of my death with the water which flowed from Thy Sacred Side, and adorn it with comeliness in the Precious Blood of Thy sweetest Heart, and render it acceptable in Thy sight in the fragrant odor of Thy Divine Love. Amen.

Gotten Alinskied Lately?

Badger Catholic wrote about being Alinskied recently, and I had to laugh....

So I can relate to being discombobulated by the kids when trying to make valid political points with someone who is obviously uninformed... of course, who knows what the poor uninformed person is thinking.... "can't they even control their kids?"

We have a baby boy!!

Hi, just a quick update!

Michael Aidan was born Friday afternoon May 6th. He was 7 lb 8.5 oz and 19.5 inches. We came home yesterday from the hospital! What a wonderful Mother's Day gift!

Will try to post pictures soon. Thank you SO SO much for all your prayers!!!!

I Love My Grownups

Another priceless moment lying in bed with our 2 year old (although since I am so big and pregnant it is harder and harder to get out of her toddler bed when I lie down with her at night):

Sophia: Mom, I love you. I love Daddy too. I love my grownups. I really love my parents.


:) :) :) :) :) :) :)


P.S. - I am over 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced, and if I do not have the baby before then, the doctor wants me to come in again on Friday for a re-check. If I have made more progress, she wants me to go ahead and go to the hospital since I usually have fairly fast (TRANSLATE: not easy, fast, majorly intense) labors. Please continue to pray for us! Many thanks :)

Moving from Sorrow into Joy through His Divine Mercy

There is a difficulty in moving from the penance of Lent and sorrow of Holy Week into the joy of Easter and our Lord's Resurrection. Our Holy Church provides such a blessing as we celebrate Easter Day as one continuous day during the Easter Octave. This year, it is giving me time to move my devotion for the Cross of Christ into the joy of His Resurrected Life. I am not making promises about getting there though within this week..... maybe by Pentecost?

This particular Easter I find that life is particularly messy and it has been a real struggle moving from the sorrow (and joy) of the cross to the pure joy of the resurrection. We are now within weeks (if not days) of delivering our new baby! As exciting as this may be, it also carries with it a lot of burden. As much as I am trying to focus on the joy that cometh, in reality, I also am having a hard time with mixed emotions of the pregnancy ending and wanting this pregnancy to be done!! New life is such a beautiful gift and I am so grateful for God's gift to us and to me to be able to carry His creation within, but I am also so tired and ready to be able to move a bit more normally again (God willing).

I also have some fear about labor and delivery, and trusting in God's Mercy is really the only way to get through this time. I am so thankful for the prayers of the Divine Mercy novena, carrying through from Good Friday and through the Easter Octave. I keep trying to think about that moment just after our other babies were born, where words are hard to describe the joy at holding and seeing God's creation for our family for the first time. That is the joy that cometh, new life, and the beauty of God's Love shown in one little soul. A small foretaste of the Joy of being in His Presence forever, perhaps?

Eternal God, in whom Mercy is endless, and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us, and increase Your Mercy in us, that in difficult moments, we might not despair, nor become despondent, but with great confidence, submit ourselves to Your Holy Will, which is Love and Mercy Itself.

I turned 40 on Monday, and my husband and children will tell you that I have not been very pleasant to live with for the past several weeks (maybe even longer??, oh, we won't go there). I'll say it again, life is just messy, and even more so when I begin to contemplate the labor pangs going on in the world right now as well. Trusting in the Mercy of Our Lord Jesus Christ and in His Resurrection is the only way to make it out of this present darkness.

In my own heart, the darkness threatens daily, and I must look up, away from myself, and to His Resurrection and His Mercy to know His Love and Strength. It is so hard not to be consumed by the information around us and by our own daily anxieties, but Hope in Him is our anchor. He brings us joy now, here in this world He has created for us. Even though there are trials and struggles He has bled and died to give us new life in Him. Let us turn our hearts to the joy that cometh and to the joy that He gives now.

+JMJ+

Hide me within Your wounds, Lord Jesus. Let me never forget Your Sacrifice, but allow me to know Your Joy and Your Resurrection too. Pour forth your Divine Mercy, in the water and blood gushing forth from Your Heart, into my body and soul, so that I may truly know Your Resurrected Life within. Lord, I open myself completely to You. In Your Divine Mercy, cast out my fear. I trust in You. I trust in You. I trust in You! In Your Holy Name, Amen.