God is asking me to forgive, and I have said I forgive, but it seems as though my heart is not there yet. Recently, I was hurt by a friend. It really should not have been such a big deal, but for reasons I cannot quite understand, it hurt me deeply, and I am having a hard time with the whole situation. Forgiveness keeps coming up over and over in one form or another, but really, I just want to run away and never trust anyone. I really think the sadness I have probably has less to do with this particular situation and more to do with hurts from my childhood. Like I said, it shouldn't be such a big deal, but it is, and God is laboring in my heart over this in ways that are very painful. The good news is that God does not ever abandon me, even if it feels like He has. I trust that He is laboring in Love over me, His beloved daughter, even if I feel desolate. And I am trying not to let my past govern my present, but being human, I often fail at this. Perhaps God is asking me to trust Him more.
A few years ago, I read Jesus of Nazareth by Pope Benedict XVI and posted our Holy Father's thoughts on forgiveness back then, but wanted to post it again today because it resonates once again with my heart today, especially in regards to our petition for forgiveness in the Our Father:
"while we must acknowledge day by day how little our capacities suffice for that task, and how often we ourselves keep falling into guilt, this petition gives us the great consolation that our prayer is held safe within the power of his love- with which, through which, and in which it can still become a power of healing."
Here is the post from September 2010:
Having recently read Pope Benedict XVI's Jesus of Nazareth, these words of the Holy Father still resonate deeply in my heart, and I want to share them with you. This is the part of the chapter where our Holy Father discusses the petition of "forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us" and how we encounter the mystery of the Cross of Christ in this petition (from Ch5 - The Lord's Prayer, pp 158-160, emphasis mine):
"If we want to understand the petition fully and make it our own, we must go one step further and ask: What is forgiveness, really? What happens when forgiveness takes place? Guilt is a reality, an objective force; it has caused destruction that must be repaired. For this reason, forgiveness must be more than a matter of ignoring, of merely trying to forget. Guilt must be worked through, healed, and thus overcome. Forgiveness exacts a price- first of all from the person who forgives. He must overcome within himself the evil done to him; he must, as it were, burn it interiorly and in so doing renew himself. As a result, he also involves the other, the trespasser, in this process of transformation, of inner purification, and both parties, suffering all the way through and overcoming evil, are made new. At this point, we encounter the mystery of Christ's Cross. But the very first thing we encounter is the limit of our power to heal and to overcome evil. We encounter the superior power of evil, which we cannot master with our unaided powers. Reinhold Schneider says apropos of this that "evil lives in a thousand forms; it occupies the pinnacles of power...it bubbles up from the abyss. Love has just one form- your Son" (Das Vaterunser, p. 68).
"The idea that God allowed the forgiveness of guilt, the healing of man from within, to cost him the death of his Son has come to seem quite alien to us today. That the Lord has "borne our diseases and taken upon himself sorrows," that"he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities," and that "with his wounds we are healed" (Is 53:4-6) no longer seems plausible
to us today. Militating against this, on one side, is the trivialization of evil in which we take refuge, despite the fact that at the very same time we treat the horrors of human history, especially of the most recent human history as an irrefutable pretext for denying the existence of a good God and slandering his creature man. But the understanding of the great mystery of expiation is also blocked by our individualistic image of man. We can no longer grasp substitution because we think that every man is ensconced in himself alone. The fact that all individual beings are deeply interwoven and that all are encompassed in turn by the being of the One, the Incarnate Son, is something we are no longer capable of seeing. When we come to speak of Christ's Crucifixion, we will have to take up these issues again.
"In the meantime, the idea of Cardinal John Henry Newman may suffice. Newman once said that while God could create the whole world out of nothing with just one word, he could overcome men's guilt and suffering only by bringing himself into play, by becoming in his Son a sufferer who carried this burden and overcame it through his self-surrender. The overcoming of guilt has a price: We must put our heart- or, better, our whole existence- on the line. And even this act is insufficient; it can become effective only through communion with the One who bore the burdens of us all.
"The petition for forgiveness is more than a moral exhortation- though it is that as well, and as such it challenges us anew every day. But, at its deepest core, it is- like the other petitions- a Christological prayer. It reminds us of he who allowed forgiveness to cost him descent into the hardship of human existence and death on the Cross. It calls us first and foremost to thankfulness for that, and then, with him, to work through and suffer through evil by means of love. And while we must acknowledge day by day how little our capacities suffice for that task, and how often we ourselves keep falling into guilt, this petition gives us the great consolation that our prayer is held safe within the power of his love- with which, through which, and in which it can still become a power of healing."
God, thank You for these words of the Holy Father. Please watch over him and protect him in his travels. Thank You for giving us a wise and holy shepherd. Jesus, thank You for Your Love and Mercy. Open our hearts to receive You and all You give us. Open our hearts to forgive as You forgive and to Love as You Love. In Your Holy Name, Amen.
Showing posts with label forgiveness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label forgiveness. Show all posts
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Except that today I'm a mess...
Yesterday's post was written with peace in my heart. Today, life is back to insanity. The good thing is that God doesn't change with all this. I'm up, I'm down, I'm calm, I'm crazy. I'm an absolute mess. He is the same. Always. In this present, seemingly insane moment, You Love me Lord, and I love You in return, despite all of my weaknesses. And so His peace remains.
Let Your Mercy be on us Oh Lord, as we place our trust in You.
Let Your Mercy be on us Oh Lord, as we place our trust in You.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
When the Damage is Already Done
Have you ever said something you have regretted, sometimes almost instantly? And in this day of social media and electronic communication, have you every written/typed/texted something you wish you could take back? Recently, in an online conversation, in trying to be "helpful", I typed something that I could not take back. In the end, it was not helpful at all, and I wanted so hard to delete what I had said, but really it would have done no good except maybe protect myself from others seeing what I had typed. I could have deleted it, but the damage was already done. I apologized, but my apology was ignored. It is very painful when our apologies are not accepted, but also I can understand hesitation to forgive as I have been there before. I would love to say that I could live a life with no apologies, but the fact is that I am human and I am going to mess up and say stupid things, even when I'm trying to be helpful.
In the aftermath of self recrimination and self doubt, God let my heart know with certainty, that no matter what we do, when we come to Him to seek forgiveness, He will never reject us. Never. He always receives our plea for Mercy with Love and forgiveness. Do I forgive the way He does? Or is my forgiveness cold and conditional? And on the other side, do I seek forgiveness with love or with a desire to make myself feel better? The damage has been done, but with Christ, all things are possible, and His Mercy endures forever.
In the aftermath of self recrimination and self doubt, God let my heart know with certainty, that no matter what we do, when we come to Him to seek forgiveness, He will never reject us. Never. He always receives our plea for Mercy with Love and forgiveness. Do I forgive the way He does? Or is my forgiveness cold and conditional? And on the other side, do I seek forgiveness with love or with a desire to make myself feel better? The damage has been done, but with Christ, all things are possible, and His Mercy endures forever.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Coming Together with the Heart of the Church
Recently, news of Archbishop Patrick Zurek asking Fr. Frank Pavone to cease public ministry outside of the diocese of Amarillo due to financial concerns has been in the pro life and Catholic blogosphere. This post is not about Fr. Frank Pavone, but his situation is what finally gave me the courage to write it.
In speaking of this with a friend, she made a point about what happens to the priests who aren't well known who become accused?
We must not abandon our Spiritual Fathers. Yes, I do believe we must pray, always we must pray, and fast for our priests. But to put love into action requires a bit more. When a priest is accused, first, he deserves the presumption of innocence until a full investigation takes place. In this presumption of innocence, he deserves the public support of his diocese, and the Church at large. I do not mean blind support, but support with the Heart of the Church, with Mercy and Love as our foundation, always taking into account the great hurt that may have been committed against the victim.
We have recourse to our Mother Mary, who will not abandon us or any of her children who flee to her for protection. If guilt is found, we must follow Mary as our guide and still must not abandon our Spiritual Fathers. We all desperately need the Mercy of Christ. Forgiveness is a necessity for healing, even for, especially for, the victim. Justice cannot be served without repentance and forgiveness. Believe me, this is something that I have lived and know.
This past Sunday, we heard about forgiveness in the Gospel. We cannot control the response of other people, but we can our own. It is my prayer that we will come together and support our priests in a public way, with the presumption of innocence to begin, and with mercy and forgiveness always, both for the priest and the accuser. If we come together in loving support and become stronger when this happens, maybe, just maybe, some of the nonsensical false accusations will cease. If not, then those who make false accusations are only accomplishing what they mean to do and that is to tear us apart. Our mercy must also extend to those who are making false accusations; however, mercy does not mean standing by and letting a great wrong persist just to keep from offending people who are hurting. It does no good to real victims of crimes to let a false accusation stand.
For more information about falsely accused priests, visit Fr. Gordon MacRae's blog These Stone Walls. He had a wonderful post a few months ago, If Night Befalls Your Father, You Don't Discard Him. You Just Don't!
Also at Fr. MacRae's blog is commentary, including an article about priests who have been found guilty and who have been "discarded." Let us not abandon our priests ever. This does not mean condoning or accepting horrible crimes. This means living with the reality of Christ's call to repentance in our own lives, and to forgive as we have been forgiven. God's mercy is greater than all of this.
St. John Vianney, pray for us! St. Joseph, terror of demons, pray for us! St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle! Our Lady of Good Help, pray for us! Christ, have Mercy on us!
UPDATE: Read Fr. MacRae's latest post: SNAP Judgements Part II: Ground Zero of the Catholic Scandal.
In speaking of this with a friend, she made a point about what happens to the priests who aren't well known who become accused?
We must not abandon our Spiritual Fathers. Yes, I do believe we must pray, always we must pray, and fast for our priests. But to put love into action requires a bit more. When a priest is accused, first, he deserves the presumption of innocence until a full investigation takes place. In this presumption of innocence, he deserves the public support of his diocese, and the Church at large. I do not mean blind support, but support with the Heart of the Church, with Mercy and Love as our foundation, always taking into account the great hurt that may have been committed against the victim.
We have recourse to our Mother Mary, who will not abandon us or any of her children who flee to her for protection. If guilt is found, we must follow Mary as our guide and still must not abandon our Spiritual Fathers. We all desperately need the Mercy of Christ. Forgiveness is a necessity for healing, even for, especially for, the victim. Justice cannot be served without repentance and forgiveness. Believe me, this is something that I have lived and know.
This past Sunday, we heard about forgiveness in the Gospel. We cannot control the response of other people, but we can our own. It is my prayer that we will come together and support our priests in a public way, with the presumption of innocence to begin, and with mercy and forgiveness always, both for the priest and the accuser. If we come together in loving support and become stronger when this happens, maybe, just maybe, some of the nonsensical false accusations will cease. If not, then those who make false accusations are only accomplishing what they mean to do and that is to tear us apart. Our mercy must also extend to those who are making false accusations; however, mercy does not mean standing by and letting a great wrong persist just to keep from offending people who are hurting. It does no good to real victims of crimes to let a false accusation stand.
For more information about falsely accused priests, visit Fr. Gordon MacRae's blog These Stone Walls. He had a wonderful post a few months ago, If Night Befalls Your Father, You Don't Discard Him. You Just Don't!
Also at Fr. MacRae's blog is commentary, including an article about priests who have been found guilty and who have been "discarded." Let us not abandon our priests ever. This does not mean condoning or accepting horrible crimes. This means living with the reality of Christ's call to repentance in our own lives, and to forgive as we have been forgiven. God's mercy is greater than all of this.
St. John Vianney, pray for us! St. Joseph, terror of demons, pray for us! St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle! Our Lady of Good Help, pray for us! Christ, have Mercy on us!
UPDATE: Read Fr. MacRae's latest post: SNAP Judgements Part II: Ground Zero of the Catholic Scandal.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Forgiveness
Having recently read Pope Benedict XVI's Jesus of Nazareth, these words of the Holy Father still resonate deeply in my heart, and I want to share them with you. This is the part of the chapter where our Holy Father discusses the petition of "forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us" and how we encounter the mystery of the Cross of Christ in this petition (from Ch5 - The Lord's Prayer, pp 158-160, emphasis mine):
If we want to understand the petition fully and make it our own, we must go one step further and ask: What is forgiveness, really? What happens when forgiveness takes place? Guilt is a reality, an objective force; it has caused destruction that must be repaired. For this reason, forgiveness must be more than a matter of ignoring, of merely trying to forget. Guilt must be worked through, healed, and thus overcome. Forgiveness exacts a price- first of all from the person who forgives. He must overcome within himself the evil done to him; he must, as it were, burn it interiorly and in so doing renew himself. As a result, he also involves the other, the trespasser, in this process of transformation, of inner purification, and both parties, suffering all the way through and overcoming evil, are made new. At this point, we encounter the mystery of Christ's Cross. But the very first thing we encounter is the limit of our power to heal and to overcome evil. We encounter the superior power of evil, which we cannot master with our unaided powers. Reinhold Schneider says apropos of this that "evil lives in a thousand forms; it occupies the pinnacles of power...it bubbles up from the abyss. Love has just one form- your Son" (Das Vaterunser, p. 68).
The idea that God allowed the forgiveness of guilt, the healing of man from
within, to cost him the death of his Son has come to seem quite alien to us
today. That the Lord has "borne our diseases and taken upon himself sorrows,"
that"he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities,"
and that "with his wounds we are healed" (Is 53:4-6) no longer seems plausible
to us today. Militating against this, on one side, is the trivialization of evil
in which we take refuge, despite the fact that at the very same time we treat
the horrors of human history, especially of the most recent human history as an
irrefutable pretext for denying the existence of a good God and slandering his
creature man. But the understanding of the great mystery of expiation is
also blocked by our individualistic image of man. We can no longer grasp
substitution because we think that every man is ensconced in himself alone. The fact that all individual beings are deeply interwoven and that all are encompassed in turn by the being of the One, the Incarnate Son, is something we are no longer capable of seeing. When we come to speak of Christ's
Crucifixion, we will have to take up these issues again.
In the meantime, the idea of Cardinal John Henry Newman may suffice. Newman once said that while God could create the whole world out of nothing with just one word,
he could overcome men's guilt and suffering only by bringing himself into play,
by becoming in his Son a sufferer who carried this burden and overcame it
through his self-surrender. The overcoming of guilt has a price: We must
put our heart- or, better, our whole existence- on the line. And even this act
is insufficient; it can become effective only through communion with the One who bore the burdens of us all.
The petition for forgiveness is more than a moral exhortation- though it is that as well, and as such it challenges us anew every day. But, at its deepest core, it is- like the other petitions- a Christological prayer. It reminds us of he who allowed forgiveness to cost him descent into the hardship of human existence and death on the Cross. It calls us first and foremost to thankfulness for that, and then, with him, to work through and suffer through evil by means of love. And while we must acknowledge day by day how little our capacities suffice for that task, and how often we ourselves keep falling into guilt, this petition gives us the great consolation that our prayer is held safe within the power of his love- with which, through which, and in which it can still become a power of healing.
God, thank You for these words of the Holy Father. Please watch over him and protect him in his travels. Thank You for giving us a wise and holy shepherd. Jesus, thank You for Your Love and Mercy. Open our hearts to receive You and all You give us. Open our hearts to forgive as You forgive and to Love as You Love. In Your Holy Name, Amen.
If we want to understand the petition fully and make it our own, we must go one step further and ask: What is forgiveness, really? What happens when forgiveness takes place? Guilt is a reality, an objective force; it has caused destruction that must be repaired. For this reason, forgiveness must be more than a matter of ignoring, of merely trying to forget. Guilt must be worked through, healed, and thus overcome. Forgiveness exacts a price- first of all from the person who forgives. He must overcome within himself the evil done to him; he must, as it were, burn it interiorly and in so doing renew himself. As a result, he also involves the other, the trespasser, in this process of transformation, of inner purification, and both parties, suffering all the way through and overcoming evil, are made new. At this point, we encounter the mystery of Christ's Cross. But the very first thing we encounter is the limit of our power to heal and to overcome evil. We encounter the superior power of evil, which we cannot master with our unaided powers. Reinhold Schneider says apropos of this that "evil lives in a thousand forms; it occupies the pinnacles of power...it bubbles up from the abyss. Love has just one form- your Son" (Das Vaterunser, p. 68).
The idea that God allowed the forgiveness of guilt, the healing of man from
within, to cost him the death of his Son has come to seem quite alien to us
today. That the Lord has "borne our diseases and taken upon himself sorrows,"
that"he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities,"
and that "with his wounds we are healed" (Is 53:4-6) no longer seems plausible
to us today. Militating against this, on one side, is the trivialization of evil
in which we take refuge, despite the fact that at the very same time we treat
the horrors of human history, especially of the most recent human history as an
irrefutable pretext for denying the existence of a good God and slandering his
creature man. But the understanding of the great mystery of expiation is
also blocked by our individualistic image of man. We can no longer grasp
substitution because we think that every man is ensconced in himself alone. The fact that all individual beings are deeply interwoven and that all are encompassed in turn by the being of the One, the Incarnate Son, is something we are no longer capable of seeing. When we come to speak of Christ's
Crucifixion, we will have to take up these issues again.
In the meantime, the idea of Cardinal John Henry Newman may suffice. Newman once said that while God could create the whole world out of nothing with just one word,
he could overcome men's guilt and suffering only by bringing himself into play,
by becoming in his Son a sufferer who carried this burden and overcame it
through his self-surrender. The overcoming of guilt has a price: We must
put our heart- or, better, our whole existence- on the line. And even this act
is insufficient; it can become effective only through communion with the One who bore the burdens of us all.
The petition for forgiveness is more than a moral exhortation- though it is that as well, and as such it challenges us anew every day. But, at its deepest core, it is- like the other petitions- a Christological prayer. It reminds us of he who allowed forgiveness to cost him descent into the hardship of human existence and death on the Cross. It calls us first and foremost to thankfulness for that, and then, with him, to work through and suffer through evil by means of love. And while we must acknowledge day by day how little our capacities suffice for that task, and how often we ourselves keep falling into guilt, this petition gives us the great consolation that our prayer is held safe within the power of his love- with which, through which, and in which it can still become a power of healing.
God, thank You for these words of the Holy Father. Please watch over him and protect him in his travels. Thank You for giving us a wise and holy shepherd. Jesus, thank You for Your Love and Mercy. Open our hearts to receive You and all You give us. Open our hearts to forgive as You forgive and to Love as You Love. In Your Holy Name, Amen.
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