Just a quick thank you to all of you out there reading and praying for me. It seems like I come here and write what is in my heart and then just sort of leave and don't come back for awhile. This is where I write some of my most personal thoughts about life, and it is a gift to have you to read and to pray with me, even if most of us have never met face to face.
Right now, I am really struggling with staying where God wants me. Even if I am home with my children, sometimes, many times, I am not truly present to them. With God, I am trying to remain faithful. Having a family is a wonderful gift, but I am learning that being an authentic wife and mother does not allow me to hide away what is really going on in my heart, and it is just very overwhelming at times. Like I said in my last post, my fight or flight instinct kicks in, and it just does not work. Only surrender to God does. God is healing me, one step at a time, and I need to be patient with His time, with my weaknesses, and with my family. So, even though not as much is written here right now, a lot is happening, and it is all good, even if it is difficult.
Thank you for being good online friends and thank you also to those I have met face to face for reading here and for your friendship. God is good.
I will pray for your intentions too. God knows what they are.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
But what do you do when you are drowning?
This morning I was up earlier than normal and read a blog post about a facebook / pinterest meme that I had not seen yet. Jennifer Fulwiler wrote an excellent blog post about how this meme proves that we are living in a culture of death. She also referred to Mindy Goorchenko's also excellent post pointing out "flaws in the analogy." I highly recommend reading both of these posts.
Maybe I should have stayed in bed, or maybe I should not have gone online and prayed instead because that facebook meme is really bothering me. Jennifer and Mindy make very good points of which I am in wholehearted agreement. But that meme really hits home, and I believe that is why it is so insidious. Comparing the "birth of a baby to a horrible form of death" is so insidious because it is a twisting of a beautiful truth. Getting married and having children is a death, but not a horrible form of death that brings destruction. Getting married and having children is a death to self that brings about life. And if you do not know about death that brings life, that brings redemption, you will drown.
"It stuns the conscience," as Jennifer says. It stuns my conscience because it just so happens that right now in my life, I feel like I am drowning. Sometimes drowning just in dishes and laundry and little people needing me at every minute of the day, but also in a deeper way drowning in emotions, and hurts and trying to find healing. Sometimes I go through times where I feel dry and parched, especially in prayer, and this can bring desolation. Other times desolation comes because I feel overwhelmed, like I am drowning. It is in these dark moments where I think how could we possibly handle another child or how could I possibly stay here and be a wife to my husband and a mother to my children. And my fight or flight instinct kicks in and I either run away for a period of time or fight my way to the surface just trying to get a breath. Neither really works. Only surrender does.
The answer is not to stay out of the water. The answer is not to put on a temporary life jacket. The answer is not to take swimming lessons. The real answer is to let go and surrender and let the grief, sadness, hurt, and yes, death, come. Because there is new life that is better than anything we can imagine. Do not be afraid, Christ will rescue you. He will bring you to the surface.
UPDATE: Elizabeth Foss has a fantastic post Overwhelmed by the Everyday that really helps! Surrender to God, listen to Him, and say yes to Him!
Maybe I should have stayed in bed, or maybe I should not have gone online and prayed instead because that facebook meme is really bothering me. Jennifer and Mindy make very good points of which I am in wholehearted agreement. But that meme really hits home, and I believe that is why it is so insidious. Comparing the "birth of a baby to a horrible form of death" is so insidious because it is a twisting of a beautiful truth. Getting married and having children is a death, but not a horrible form of death that brings destruction. Getting married and having children is a death to self that brings about life. And if you do not know about death that brings life, that brings redemption, you will drown.
"It stuns the conscience," as Jennifer says. It stuns my conscience because it just so happens that right now in my life, I feel like I am drowning. Sometimes drowning just in dishes and laundry and little people needing me at every minute of the day, but also in a deeper way drowning in emotions, and hurts and trying to find healing. Sometimes I go through times where I feel dry and parched, especially in prayer, and this can bring desolation. Other times desolation comes because I feel overwhelmed, like I am drowning. It is in these dark moments where I think how could we possibly handle another child or how could I possibly stay here and be a wife to my husband and a mother to my children. And my fight or flight instinct kicks in and I either run away for a period of time or fight my way to the surface just trying to get a breath. Neither really works. Only surrender does.
The answer is not to stay out of the water. The answer is not to put on a temporary life jacket. The answer is not to take swimming lessons. The real answer is to let go and surrender and let the grief, sadness, hurt, and yes, death, come. Because there is new life that is better than anything we can imagine. Do not be afraid, Christ will rescue you. He will bring you to the surface.
UPDATE: Elizabeth Foss has a fantastic post Overwhelmed by the Everyday that really helps! Surrender to God, listen to Him, and say yes to Him!
Monday, September 17, 2012
Word on Fire: Prayer for the New Evangelization
I really like this prayer from Word on Fire, Fr. Barron's ministry, a prayer for the new evangelization:
Lord Jesus Christ, You have given Your Chruch the mission to proclaim the Gospel to all the nations.
May our efforts to fulfill this mission be guided by the Holy Spirit so that we might be a leaven of new life, salt of the earth and a light of the world - worthy missionaries and faithful to You.
Make us valiant witnesses to the Faith of the Church, and inspire us to speak the truth with love.
Help us to communicate to others the joy that we have recieved.
Permit us to be united, but not closed; humble, but not fearful; simple, but not naive, thoughtful, but not overbearing; contemporary, but not superficial; respectful of others, but boldly Your disciples.
May we bear into the world the hope of God, Who is Christ the Lord, Who rose from the dead and lives and reigns with Father and Holy Spirit, one God forever and ever. Amen.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us!
St. Joseph, Patron of the Universal Church, pray for us!
St. Peter and St. Paul, pray for us!
St. Therese, Patroness of Missionairies, pray for us!
St. Thomas Aquinas, pray for us!
Friday, September 7, 2012
Prayer to Hearts of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph
This is a beautiful prayer from my son's school work this morning!
+JMJ+
Heart of Jesus, I adore Thee.
Heart of Mary, I implore Thee.
Heart of Joseph, pure and just.
In these three Hearts, I place my trust.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Why Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan have my vote.
I'll be the first to admit that when it was evident that Romney was going to win the Republican presidential nominee, I felt a bit hopeless for our country. I had read many reports, watched the videos of his changing position on life issues, and just felt a general lack of trust for Romney. That has changed and here's why.
Romney's pick of Ryan started to soften my general unease about Romney, as it did with many pro-life people. Although there have been bumps since that decision, and there will probably be more, I am no longer a Romney skeptic but a Romney supporter. Perhaps I read too much Hotair or Drudge Report and not enough Shea, but I'd like to think my intellect and heart are more capable than that. My instinct now is that Mitt Romney is a good man, and God has taught me to trust my instincts. I don't think my instinct changed, I just think I was ignorant about the man Mitt Romney before this. You know, I was against him before I was for him ;) I guess time will tell, but regardless, my hope is in the Lord, not the man.
I got to know Mitt a little bit by listening to some of those who know him closest, particularly his wife. Nothing like a wife to soften the hearts of people about her guy. What became evident to me is that Mitt Romney, for all his failures on life issues in the past, is a man who celebrates family, and celebrates life. To Mitt Romney, a baby is a cause for celebration, a cause to praise God, a beautiful testament to the love of our Creator, of God, our Father. A baby is not viewed as a threat or a punishment, a baby is viewed as a dignified creation of God. And he obviously has a talent for bringing prosperity out of adversity, and this is a grace from God that we need desperately in our country right now.
It is evident that Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan both care and have a deep respect for women, from the way that they speak of the women in their lives, their moms, their wives, and the women who have worked with them. Romney has shown his respect for women by action, from the women he has mentored to his deep respect for both working women and women who choose to stay home to care for their children at home. I believe, perhaps wrongly, that his desire to help women may have been what prompted his grave error on life issues in the past. Many of us were indoctrinated/lied to/tricked into believing that abortion is a women's rights issue. The truth is that not only does abortion kill a human being, but it devastates a woman's heart, body, and mind as well. Because this truth is being realized more and more around the world, people's hearts are changing about abortion, and I believe Mitt Romney is one of those people.
Mitt Romney never supported abortion because he believed that a baby was a punishment or because he believed a baby is a threat. That is what our current President believes. More children stand in the way of progress in Obama's mindset, a baby or a child is only to be celebrated if it is wanted and fits into a nice little agenda of making sure it does not stifle a woman's career or exhale too much carbon dioxide. Yes, he does purport to care about the poor, and the life of a child born into poverty, but honestly, the solution is not to eliminate the child, the solution is to provide opportunity and love for that child. Every child, EVERY child is a gift, no matter what circumstances into which they were born, and I believe with all my heart that Romney knows that too and will enact policies to strengthen families and protect the dignity of life.
So that is why I fully suppport the Romney/Ryan ticket. I no longer feel hopeless about our country. I have never lost hope in God and His care for us, but after seeing all those children from the Romney and Ryan families run after the balloons at the end of the convention, I feel a little bit more spring in my step regarding the direction of our country. Whatever happens, with or without Obama, with or without Romney, God has given each one of us special talents and my heart is full of gratitude for those gifts God gives us. I believe Romney and Ryan are also both deeply thankful to God for His Grace. And that is our true hope.
Scroll to about 43:10 in the video below to see the beautiful scene of all the children in the Ryan and Romney families coming out and playing with the balloons. It's priceless! Thank You God for these families!
Our hope is in You Lord, we accept Your Divine Will. May we cooperate with Your Divine Will, by supporting and encouraging each other to celebrate the beautiful gift of life and families. Amen.
Romney's pick of Ryan started to soften my general unease about Romney, as it did with many pro-life people. Although there have been bumps since that decision, and there will probably be more, I am no longer a Romney skeptic but a Romney supporter. Perhaps I read too much Hotair or Drudge Report and not enough Shea, but I'd like to think my intellect and heart are more capable than that. My instinct now is that Mitt Romney is a good man, and God has taught me to trust my instincts. I don't think my instinct changed, I just think I was ignorant about the man Mitt Romney before this. You know, I was against him before I was for him ;) I guess time will tell, but regardless, my hope is in the Lord, not the man.
I got to know Mitt a little bit by listening to some of those who know him closest, particularly his wife. Nothing like a wife to soften the hearts of people about her guy. What became evident to me is that Mitt Romney, for all his failures on life issues in the past, is a man who celebrates family, and celebrates life. To Mitt Romney, a baby is a cause for celebration, a cause to praise God, a beautiful testament to the love of our Creator, of God, our Father. A baby is not viewed as a threat or a punishment, a baby is viewed as a dignified creation of God. And he obviously has a talent for bringing prosperity out of adversity, and this is a grace from God that we need desperately in our country right now.
It is evident that Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan both care and have a deep respect for women, from the way that they speak of the women in their lives, their moms, their wives, and the women who have worked with them. Romney has shown his respect for women by action, from the women he has mentored to his deep respect for both working women and women who choose to stay home to care for their children at home. I believe, perhaps wrongly, that his desire to help women may have been what prompted his grave error on life issues in the past. Many of us were indoctrinated/lied to/tricked into believing that abortion is a women's rights issue. The truth is that not only does abortion kill a human being, but it devastates a woman's heart, body, and mind as well. Because this truth is being realized more and more around the world, people's hearts are changing about abortion, and I believe Mitt Romney is one of those people.
Mitt Romney never supported abortion because he believed that a baby was a punishment or because he believed a baby is a threat. That is what our current President believes. More children stand in the way of progress in Obama's mindset, a baby or a child is only to be celebrated if it is wanted and fits into a nice little agenda of making sure it does not stifle a woman's career or exhale too much carbon dioxide. Yes, he does purport to care about the poor, and the life of a child born into poverty, but honestly, the solution is not to eliminate the child, the solution is to provide opportunity and love for that child. Every child, EVERY child is a gift, no matter what circumstances into which they were born, and I believe with all my heart that Romney knows that too and will enact policies to strengthen families and protect the dignity of life.
So that is why I fully suppport the Romney/Ryan ticket. I no longer feel hopeless about our country. I have never lost hope in God and His care for us, but after seeing all those children from the Romney and Ryan families run after the balloons at the end of the convention, I feel a little bit more spring in my step regarding the direction of our country. Whatever happens, with or without Obama, with or without Romney, God has given each one of us special talents and my heart is full of gratitude for those gifts God gives us. I believe Romney and Ryan are also both deeply thankful to God for His Grace. And that is our true hope.
Scroll to about 43:10 in the video below to see the beautiful scene of all the children in the Ryan and Romney families coming out and playing with the balloons. It's priceless! Thank You God for these families!
Our hope is in You Lord, we accept Your Divine Will. May we cooperate with Your Divine Will, by supporting and encouraging each other to celebrate the beautiful gift of life and families. Amen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)