Clarity

For most of this year I have been asking the Holy Spirit for clarity. There are so many movements in my heart that it sometimes feels a bit muddled and hard to discern where the Holy Spirit is leading me. It used to be I could keep so many things in my head and multi-task the day away and be successful at the tasks at which I endeavored. Now, I have a hard time accomplishing one task and I find myself being quite forgetful and scatterbrained. Part of this may be age (I am only 39 though!), part may be having 4 young children to care for, and part of this may be God leading me to depend on Him rather than on myself. The muddled thoughts in my head truly affect my heart. My Spiritual Director told me once to ask God to sort it out for me. When I do that, it is much easier to live the vocation God is asking of me, a vocation as wife and mother.

One way God has been giving me clarity is by speaking to me about the same thing in many different ways. Don't you love it when God does that? He pours out His Love on us by speaking to us through different people, movies, songs, Bible studies, homilies, books, prayers and the list goes on and on. Well, God has been opening my eyes to how the Holy Spirit can help me with this clarity thing in so many different ways. Once I began praying for clarity, this is how it all started.

Some friends and I were discussing the Gifts of the Holy Spirit earlier this year, but I admit I did not know much about these gifts. Then not too long after that I kept encountering different places where God was teaching me about His gifts to us through the Holy Spirit. And I was intrigued and thought are these gifts for me too or only for the very holy? And, YES, of course they are, and they are for each one of us; we must be receptive to His grace and these gifts are ours. And we are all called to holiness.

Wisdom...

Understanding...

Counsel...

Courage...

Knowledge...

Piety...

Fear of the Lord....

Then I just happened to find a blog post about a novena to the Holy Spirit asking for these gifts. And so I went a little deeper... Then this summer when we were visiting friends in Montana, I went to a prayer group with my friend, and the priest spoke about the 7 gifts of the Holy Spirit and how these gifts will help us live out the Virtues, and that when we are living out the Virtues, that is when we see the Fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives. And each one of the 7 gifts can help us to live out specific virtues, like courage may help with fortitude, counsel may help with prudence, and there is overlap too, but it all started to make sense. CLARITY!! I must say as soon as he began His talk, I was overcome by God's Love for me, by placing me at that place at that particular moment in time. My friend said that the priest usually never gives talks at this prayer group and that it was an unusual ocurrence.

When I see that God is speaking to me in a direct way like that it really makes me realize how He has His eye and heart on each one of us at all times. And He places on our hearts that which will guide us closer to Him. So, I went a little deeper..... and then I found out that the Mom's group that I belong to is doing a book study by Gina Loehr called Choosing Beauty, a book about living a life "infused with the virtues." CLARITY!! The Cardinal and Theological virtues...

Prudence...

Justice...

Fortitude...

Temperance...

Faith...

Hope...

Charity...

I remember many years ago doing a protestant Bible Study about the fruit of the Holy Spirit. I loved the Bible study, but was still was wondering why am I having such a hard time with so many of these Fruit of the Holy Spirit? Why do I not see this happening in my life? And now, CLARITY.

~ Charity ~ Joy ~ Peace ~ Patience ~ Kindness ~ Goodness ~ Generosity ~

~ Gentleness ~ Faithfulness ~ Modesty ~ Self-Control ~ Chastity ~

God has given me clarity and has opened an avenue in my heart to receive His gifts, to live His virtues, and to see His fruit. I still have a LONG way to go, but He has laid out a path and it is through His Holy Church. Praise be to God, I love You, and I love Your Holy Church. Mary, I give you my will, conform it to the will of Your Son. St. Joseph, protect us from the confusion of the world. In the Holy Name of Jesus, Amen.